Sorry that I haven't blogged in a few weeks. We have been keeping busy with family life and cherishing the time we have with Joshua inside my growing belly. Over the past few weeks it has been a roller coaster of emotions. We are praying for a miracle but preparing for the worst. Nathan and I feel God's presence stronger than ever these days. I thank God everyday for Nathan and his faith because his strength has kept me going on the hard days. We feel the apron of prayers that friends and family members are wrapping around us. We feel so blessed to have such an amazing support system that has shown us so much love. Tomorrow we go back down to the medical center for more appointments. In the morning I have my normal diabetes test before our appointment with Dr. Adam. It seems funny to me to be having this test since nothing in this pregnancy has been 'normal' so to be having such a test seems so trivial. After that we will meet with Dr. Adam and get to see our sweet boy on the ultrasound screens in her office. We definitely feel so blessed to know we get to see Joshua during every appointment. Next we have an appointment at Texas Children’s, where a doctor will take us on a tour of the hospital and go over all the paperwork and decisions we may be faced with before, during and after Joshua's birth into this world. I know this will be hard. Some of the choices we will be making are if we want to hear the heart monitor on his heart when we say good-bye. Like I said before...we are still praying for a miracle and planning out how we will give our baby back to God is just hard. Please pray for strength for Nathan and I tomorrow. Also pray that the doctor who we are meeting with will be a Christian and understand our choices for Joshua. Please continue to pray for a miracle for our little boy.
i have to tell you...that in the midst of your pain and suffering and unknowing, you are blessing me. So much of our journey seems to look the same..and it's a reminder of LIFE for me. This time we carry our babies, we see it differently now. And sharing with you reminds me of my time with my girl. And to share with you and listen and remind you "blessed is the fruit of your womb!" gosh, i'm so overwhelmed with the leading of God that you would receive a stranger..to walk with you. What joy! (well, gee..isn't this post all about me???)
ReplyDeleteIt is unfathomable that we would be asked to carry this cross. I pray you know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are showing the world what it means to lay down your life for the good of another. There is no greater beauty. May the grace that surpasses all understanding be yours.