I haven't been very good about blogging lately...this year I just haven't been blogging as regularly. I still sit down and blog after a holiday or a trip or someone's birthday but the everyday blogs I just haven't sat down to do. There are many reasons for this, I know the big one is that I didn't have baby milestones to be blogging about or funny baby moments that I would just have to share. This year has been hard. Everyday we see the empty hole that Joshua isn't here to fill. The boys talk about Joshua in every moment. Today on a bike ride to the park they said, "I miss Joshua mommy, he would have liked to go on a bike ride." These are the comments that just make my heart stop every time I hear them. The other heart breaking comments deal with the loss of their innocence. Both James and John Patrick pray every night that Jude doesn't die. Most 4 and 2 year olds don't have that reality that not all babies get to stay here. I'm glad they have the appreciation for life that they do but it makes me sad that they have to miss their brother and worry about death for another brother. God is good though. We see the blessings of Joshua's life and the lives of James, John Patrick and Jude. Through our suffering we have seen beautiful graces from God that have given us moments we wouldn't have had as a family with out our loss. All that to say I am hoping to be better about blogging because it is something I enjoy doing and it is a great way for me to be able to look back at the moments we have over the year.
Here are some pictures I took last week of the boys just being boys. James and John Patrick LOVE playing superheros and this is there attire most days.
As for an update: We are now 21 weeks pregnant with Jude. All of us are so excited that we are getting closer to getting to meet our precious baby boy. James and John Patrick are so ready to get to be big helpers with Jude and teach him all they know. Please keep us in your prayers even though Jude is healthy there are still concerns for me during delivery. We know it is asking a lot to pray not only that we can keep Jude but also that we can have more children in the future. I know how precious life is and I know there are so many women who struggle to get pregnant or have lost children in some way. My heart aches for all women who are in these situations and my prayers are with them. Here is a verse we are holding to with baby Jude.
May mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.
Jude 2
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